My fingers were poised over the keyboard ready to start writing some goody two shoes topic but then I thought “hell nawl, I’m writing about this shrew called copy-writing”. This time last year, the closest I knew about what copy-writing is almost nothing. Even the little I thought I knew is wrong.
A minute’s silence for those times I thought copy-writing is a glamorous job that just requires you to write one-liners and the bucks start rolling in, just like that.
Shame on those people that led me to believe so. Vie on them! Yes I’m pained.
You know, when I started with it my thought was,
“how hard can it be to write a line? Pfft! Don’t I pull out paragraphs easy peasy?”
But then it turned out to be a real bitch of a task. And the worst part? One is never enough. You have to write gazillions of lines before one is approved after you might have fasted and prayed. As if that’s not enough, the client will take one look at the Chosen Copy and say,
“This is not what we want”
You, being the saint patron of patience, will say "Okay, what do you want?"
"That's why we're paying you, to figure out what we want"
I tried. Oh I tried. You know how it is when you believe something should be easy for you to do but then it’s proving to be a mountain of tar on which you’re flopping like a newly hatched baby bird with broken wings? You start thinking,
“am I doing something wrong? Is there something I’m missing? Is a part of my brain momentarily out of service?…”
I found myself digging up articles on copy-writing (and storytelling). I went hard at it, so hard that my chrome browser popped me a message that “this activity is unusual”. I had to affirm that I’m still the one using the app and not some random naughty bot. Result? It’s still one hell of a task getting a copy right.
Nobody tells you about the long, tedious hours you’ll use researching. Never, NEVER have I thought that much research will be needed to produce five or six innocent looking words. Which is why when I tell someone I do copy-writing and the person goes,
“oh, you mean you’re one of those guys that just write those few words on the ads?”
I get headache in my eyes and feel a rapid onset of apoplexy.
The worst part is when the person has temerity to sound bored, be rest assured I’m mentally casting that person into Satan’s armpit along with my sorrows and pains. If the murderous thoughts of copywriters at the moment their copies are rejected can be quantified, I’m sure it can power Kim Jong-un’s rocket.
Do you know the funniest thing? I still read those “30 rules every successful copywriter must learn” articles. In case you don’t believe me, I’ve listed my latest reads below for you. If you’re a copy writer, you might get something from them. Hopefully.
Now that my rant is over, I’m crawling back behind my desk to resume squeezing what copies (and content) I can from my highly stressed brain. You have similar pains? Tell me about them by commenting in the box below this post.
Click on the links below to get some copywriting tips
***This article is strictly the view of O.A. Mariam.